Breaking Generational Patterns
Many of us carry ways of thinking, coping, and relating that were shaped long before we had any say in them — patterns passed down through families, sometimes across generations. You might notice yourself reacting the way a parent did, holding beliefs about your own worth that were never really yours to begin with, or struggling to trust your own judgement.
Wanting to do things differently — to understand yourself, relate to others in healthier ways, and if you're a parent, to raise your own children differently — is some of the most meaningful work I do, both professionally and through my own life experience.
What this might look like for you
Noticing yourself reacting, coping, or relating to others in ways that echo how you were raised, even when you didn't want to.
Wanting to raise your own children with more warmth, consistency, or emotional openness than you experienced yourself.
Core beliefs about not being good enough, having to earn love, or not being able to trust yourself, formed early and carried into adulthood.
Struggling to say no, prioritise your own needs, or tolerate others' disappointment without guilt.
Worrying that certain traits or patterns are inevitable, and feeling anxious about repeating them.
Second-guessing your decisions, feelings, or instincts, particularly in relationships and parenting.
This work often connects closely with low self-esteem. Many of the beliefs we carry about ourselves — that we're not good enough, that we have to earn love, that our feelings don't matter — were shaped early on, often without us realising it. Understanding where they came from is frequently the first step to changing how they affect you now.
Is this normal?
Most of us carry some inherited patterns — that's part of being shaped by a family. It's worth exploring further when those patterns are causing you distress, affecting your relationships or self-esteem, making parenting harder than it needs to be, or when you find yourself repeating something you specifically didn't want to repeat.
You don't need a difficult or dramatic childhood for this work to be relevant. Subtle patterns, passed on quietly, can still have a real impact.
How CBT helps
We start by understanding where a pattern came from and how it developed — not to dwell on the past, but to make sense of why it feels so automatic now. From there, we look at the core beliefs and coping strategies it left behind, and work on building new, healthier ways of thinking, relating, and responding.
This is practical, collaborative work. You're not just talking about your history — you're actively building a different way forward, at a pace that feels manageable.
We start with a free 15-minute consultation, followed by an assessment session to understand what you're experiencing and agree a plan, then regular 50-minute CBT sessions. See the full process →
Frequently asked questions
Patterns learned early in life — ways of relating, coping, or thinking about yourself — often run automatically, beneath conscious awareness. Recognising this is happening isn't a failure; it's usually the first real step toward doing things differently.
Yes. These patterns feel fixed because they were learned so early and reinforced over such a long time, but they were learned — which means new ways of thinking, relating, and responding can be learned too, with the right support and practice.
Absolutely. This work is about understanding where patterns came from, not assigning blame. Most parents were themselves shaped by their own upbringing and doing the best they could with what they had. Understanding that context can sit alongside choosing to do things differently yourself.
CBT isn't about revisiting the past for its own sake. We look at how early experiences shaped the beliefs and patterns you carry now, and then focus on practical, present-day work: identifying the patterns as they show up, and building different ways of responding.
Yes. Generational patterns show up well beyond parenting — in relationships, self-worth, boundaries, and how you talk to yourself. This work is just as relevant if you're trying to understand and change patterns in your own life, not only in how you might parent.
No referral is needed. You can get in touch directly, and we'll start with a free 15-minute consultation to talk through what you're experiencing.
Ready to talk?
You're welcome to get in touch for a free, no-obligation 15-minute consultation. There's no pressure and no expectation that you have everything figured out before we speak.
Book your free consultation